Wednesday, 28 February 2007


12km exercise bike hills level 9.
20 incline sit ups

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: kedgeree
lunch: kedgeree
dinner: steak, chips and coleslaw
booze: 6 stellas
weight: 13 st 10

Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Right here is where you start paying... sweat !!
Gym lunchtime.
15 minutes steam room level 10.
Jacuzzi 8 minutes.
10 minutes sauna, top tier, level damn hot.

Got rid of some Bow - about 12 of which was yesterdays fuel !

I may even do some exercise later !!!


6km treadmill 9.2 km/h

yesterday's fuel
breakfast: sausages and coleslaw
lunch: two piece KFC meal
dinner: none
booze: 4 stellas
weight: 13 st 12

One invariably last knows when something is right

Jo just popped in to tell me "you've got a problem you have !". There was, I think, a word ejaculated before problem but as I had not been swimming or playing rugby I find it hard to believe I had a problem with my Ducking or my Rucking ?
Not having been swimming, I think that was the problem to which she referred. There was certainly enough apple champagne opened and dispersed last night ( and afternoon ) to go swimming in but that form of exercise was denied to me. Instead I put wardrobes together and re-arranged bedrooms to maximise their aesthetic, fung shui appeal.
As I realised that I would be consumed with the project of Allen key exercise ( not a recognised triathlon discipline ) and having seen the spartan training regime, I deemed it appropriate to dedicate my efforts to use of the "Strong Bow". An ancient yet well appreciated core stability device.
After an afternoon and evening on "The Bow" I do feel absolutely shattered ! I should have gone swimming after all !

Monday, 26 February 2007



yesterday's fuel:
breakfast: sausages and coleslaw
lunch: was there none
dinner: kebab
weight: 13 st 13
booze: kicked off at 3pm like Chelsea and Arsenal and continued until 7:30. Count not kept.


Here's how they trained the actors for the movie "300" that is coming out at the end of the month. Where can we get tractor tyres?

The silicone chip inside his head.....

Every Monday I make a resolution to have a more productive week of training, I do not propose to make today any exception !
Another weekend of libertine excess tempered with only one trip to the pool where I essentially treaded water such is my ability for speed.
Twice last week I was encouraged to take a look around IKEA. By my calculations two revolutions around the maze of the showroom and the marketplace is about as much training as I have ever done. What a very plush trap the shop is.
We are now the proud owners of a humongous mirror which, rather boldly, sits above the fire in the living room.
I also purchased "Moose Blood", an alcohol of some kind, and "Moose (Elk) Sausage".
Just try saying Moose Sausage without saying mmmm...

Gym later - I resolve to make this a more productive week of training !

Sunday, 25 February 2007

Change of Pace

3 sets of 10 0f each of bench presses, dumbbell presses, seated rows, bentover rows, barbell curls, dumbbell curls, tricep pushdowns, lying tricep extensions, arnold presses and military presses as I haven't done any strength work for a while. Followed with abs work on a Swiss ball and some stretching.

Yesterday's fuel
breakfast: sausages and saute potatoes
lunch: mutton and potato curry
dinner: mutton and potato curry plus peas and cauliflower
booze: 6 stellas
weight: 13 st 13

Saturday, 24 February 2007

Ireland 43 - England 13

It was murder getting myself motivated to get down the gym today. I finally made it at 5:30 and watched the England game from exercise machines.
6km treadmill @ 9km/h
12 km stationary bike hills level 8
12 minutes treadmill @ 9km /h

Yesterday's fuel
breakfast: none
lunch: bacon, chicken and stilton baguette
dinner: red thai fish and pineapple curry with brown rice
booze: 2 bottles red wine.

Friday, 23 February 2007

He Rested

I'm having a day off today (the first since 30 January) as I was up and out the door very early this morning to get to Chichester for the day and I'm only just back. Theoretically I could still do some training but I think that would smack a little of obsession. The weekend is my own and I intend to work hard on Saturday and Sunday.

Yesterday's Fuel:

breakfast: porridge with honey
lunch: ham salad baguette
dinner: chicken dhansak and vegetable rice
booze: a plethora at the comedy club
weight: I disdained the scales

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Talkin' bout last night

20Km Bike, hill setting, level 10. Swift transition to the treadmill for 7Km with the most occasional and gradual of incline.
I felt OK at the end of it and treated myself to a Stella party.
I just cannot help but avoid swimming practise !!! This will have to be addressed by the committee !

The moving finger writes ...

Two months from now, with a little luck, we'll have finished the Childline Challenge.

Dawn Patrol

Can he swim?
With a name like Rock?

Out the door first thing this morning for 500m paddling before half term duties.

Yesterday's fuel:
no breakfast
lunch: oxtail, coleslaw, rice and peas.
booze: 4 pints of stella watching Chelsea
dinner: sausage and chips
weight: hit the road without hitting the scales but I'm scarcely gonna be lighter than yesterday.

Wednesday, 21 February 2007


Just back from an hour with Gordon. Much work on hips, swimming for the improvement of.

The Return of the fat white Duke

My half term duties have impacted upon my blogging ( and upon my training ). In contrast my eating and drinking have moved from strength to strength !
I have spent many hours in the pool over the last 5 days or so but very little of that could be considered as training.
My one saving grace was a jaunt on Monday evening where I attempted to verify the transition theorem. 12Km on the bike, hill setting, level 12 followed immediately by a 4Km treadmill run. My only regret was not taking a bottle of water with me, other than that I was surprised and pleased that I managed to finish relatively unscathed.
Back into a Lenten regime of training for the next 40 days !
Watch this space !
breakfast: "all day breakfast roll"
lunch: chinese chicken
dinner: pancakes
weight:13st 11
booze: plenty

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

Earlier Worm

Had to train first thing this morning (7 am) due to half term duties.

12km hills on the exercise bike level 8.

Yesterdays Fuel:
breakfast: fruit salad
lunch: cheese, pickle and salad sandwiches
snack: sausage roll and coffee
dinner: steak, chips and pepper sauce.
weight: 13st 12
booze: 700kcal

Monday, 19 February 2007


breakfast: bacon rolls
lunch: meatloaf and banana
dinner: lasagna
booze: 600 kcal
weight: 13 st 13

Sunday, 18 February 2007

Early Worm

Hit the road 7:30 this morning and did the same cycling and running route.

Running off the cycling for the first mile or so of jogging seems really hard.
breakfast: bacon rolls
lunch: chicken sandwich
snack: meatloaf
dinner: steak, mushrooms, peppers, peas, baked potato with cheese
booze: say 500 kcal
weight: no scales in Wales

Saturday, 17 February 2007

My Legs Hurt

A wise man once noted that, if it was flattened out, Wales would be bigger than England. I realised today why I rode a mountain bike when I was here; the place to all intents and puposes is built on gradients.

Cycled down to Roath Park today, along the lake, up Celyn Avenue and back along Cyncoed Road, then jumped off the bike and ran the same route.

It is absolute murder running downhill after cycling and my legs are still giving me strife. RobM's warnings about the bike to run transition are well founded it seems.
breakfast: wheatabix and banana
lunch: meatloaf
dinner: minestrone
Booze: not counting
Weight: No scales in Wales.

Friday, 16 February 2007

Brisk Brick

Cycled then ran - with a real transition - in sleet sodden slate gray South Wales.

A very different proposition to doing the same in a climate controlled health club while watching TV.
breakfast: mango juice
lunch: Singapore Noodles and green tea at Slurp
dinner: 1. Ben's pizza 2. Fish Pie
Weight: 13 st 12
Booze: 500kcal

Thursday, 15 February 2007


500m while Ben had his lesson.

"Thighs" isn't everything

I'm back from training with Gordon. Did you know that my quadriceps are very strong, but they tend to overpower my adductors?

Sorting this out will improve my posture and my swimming so that's what we're gonna do.

Billy Joel

A bottle of red, a bottle of white, it all depends upon your appetite...

Remember when I said I was having a week off the booze ? I lied !
I did not partake on Sunday but there the ship pulls into harbour. I was shamefully drunk last night, Monday and Tuesday didn't assist in reservoir retention in any real way !

Rather than thinking I should cut down I find myself wondering what offers I can find in the local markets.

I think a blow out on the weekend is called for ! Nothing is better for galvanising my good intentions. Back in my college days the weekend started on Thursday and ended sometime on Tuesday evening, Wednesday was more a social gathering to plan the next weekend. Happy and more simple days.

I will go to the gym later to sweat out some more capacity before I strike a light to my latest cigar and sup a well earned beer.

I have decided to train for a triathlon double the size of the challenge in order to keep something in the basement.

'tis the stuff that dreams are made of.
breakfast: mushroom omelet.
lunch: KFC Cool Mexican Toasted Twister
Dinner: Kebab followed by smarties.
weight: 13 st 11
booze: more than I intended kcal, but this is the fault of Arsenal and Bolton for going into extra time.

Wednesday, 14 February 2007


500m with new technique. It is certainly a lot more tiring.


"Women weaken legs !!"

No training today as I will be in Cardiff for the evening. Last night I had a jaunt on the pretend cycle while watching TV in the gym. 25Km Hill interval training level 8 - 45 minutes.

I was shattered !
breakfast: saag daal
lunch: saag daal, cauliflower, boiled egg
dinner: pizza
weight 13st 11
booze: forgot to count kcal

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Missed Training?

Sorry to have missed you both Nick & John at the W/E.
I'll do the diary and try to get you guys down for a day to get some team sweat - ?pre ride the Corsham circiut.
Slowly beginning to feel fitter - no swimming recently but ran or cycled every day over W/E and even rode to work and back today (16 miles)!
Every time its wet and windy I think of the gym boys and hear the Rocky theme.
Cycled and transitioned to a 1.5mile run at the W/E. John/Nick - try to do this in anger to get used to how your legs react (Badly). Get used to fatigue running which is a bit like the Douglas Bader stomp before your Gastoc calf muscles give in and agree to play. Swimming to cycle/run not such a shock to the system but its worth practising. We'll do it here if you come down.
Sking next week but trainers are being thrown in for some short apres-ski runs - bootiful in the mountains and Tignes has a lake with a pisted track.
Bon Triathlon


12 km hills level 9
3x10 sit ups

The long and winding road

Decided to try and run for an hour last night and rather surprisingly I succeeded! 10 Km. In the process I drenched myself with sweat and with the water I tried to take on board without slowing my jolting pace.

Smug with my achievement I sauntered to the pool where my ego was swiftly cut down. Words can barely describe what a poor swimmer I am.

I will continue with my efforts in learning to breathe without having to come to a spluttering halt as I inhale a pint or two of chlorinated water.
breakfast: mushrooms on toast
lunch: tuna and rice with salad.
dinner: cheese and salad sandwiches
snack: banana, cheese and biscuits
weight: 13 st 10
booze: 860 kcal

Monday, 12 February 2007

Those who can, teach

Just out of my first swimming lesson, I'm hugely encouraged.

They key drills that I've got are to reach much further on my stroke and to kick from my hips rather than my knees. (I've got a Bosu exercise from Gordon that I think will help with the leg technique.)

The great thing about using Ian, the coach who trains the NNB on Thursdays, is that I can just book up another session whenever I need one as I see him so regularly.

I feel much more positive about swimming now, but I think that I need to move it to the beginning rather than the end of my virtual triathlons so that I can concentrate on form before I get too tired.

Posted in Virgin as I am off for a celebration pint.

If at first you don't suceed.....

After my weekend of excess it always feels like I am back at square one on a Monday ! The truth is that I have probably gone back a ton and would be blessed to be back at square one !
The problem is particularly manifest when I see how the Welsh born never misses a day and thus his maintenance work is far superior to my own.
Week off the sauce for me, well, a week off excessive amounts of sauce in any event. I will have a blast in the gym tonight and catch up by the end of the week ! That is my plan at the moment - I wonder if I am on course with the training ?


6km @ 9.1km/h
3x10 pull ups
3x10 dips
breakfast: bacon, cheese and salad roll
snacks: 2 bananas
dinner: chorizo, cheese and salad roll
snack: chorizo
weight 13st 11
booze: 857kcal

Sunday, 11 February 2007

Virtual Tri

6km treadmill @ 9km/h
12 km exercise bike hills level 8
600m swim

A stamina buiding Virtual Tri - all in the gym - with each leg a little longer than I think April 22 will be.

Putting it away

The snows of friday sent me towards the Hospitality of the bike. Leaving work early I blew the froth off them all evening and sacked any exercise. Saturday was six nations day - initially we had a tri-al run planned but the closest I came was boozing in the Mumbles while watching the games. The fiasco of the rugby over we headed to the Barn where the rest of the evening was whiled and washed away with Stella and Bow.
Today is another game but I will spend my time recouperating and hit the gym on monday.
I must make a concerted effort this week !
breakfast: Spanish omelette and bacon.
lunch: Indonesian spicy lamb and vegetable fried rice.
snack: the rest of the Spanish omelette, apple
dinner: fish and chips, cheese and biscuits
weight: 13 st 10
booze: 1,257kcal

Saturday, 10 February 2007

Cycle and Swim

Exercise bike 20km hills level 7
swimming 250m (knocked it on the head as the pool was so packed).

off for lunch, rugby and beer.

They're Off

Today's trial run is cancelled - see

breakfast: bacon and eggs
lunch: baked potato with blue cheese, bacon and salad.
snacks: 2 bio yoghurts 2 coffees
dinner: vegetable biryani
booze: 458 kcal
weight: 13 st 9

Friday, 9 February 2007


6km treadmill @ 9km/h
chin ups

If he Tri's, He Tri's !

Virtu-Tri completed !

8Km bike level 12 random setting - 15 minutes
4Km treadmill 3in1 incline - 25 minutes
550m swim ( with breaks for rest expunging waterlogged lungs ) - 50 minutes

The swim really needs an awful lot of work !

As I managed to complete the V-Tri I did, as predicted, allow myself a little treat. This consisted of a couple of Kronenburg 1664 recovery pints at the gym followed by a few tinnies of the Leuven nectar to was down the Lettuce wraps, Chicken foo yung, special Chow mein and prawn cracker restorative, post training, replenishing, slap up feed !

"Most people come to Mumbles to lose - I didn't!"

(That's right, I have now seen Rocky Balboa!)
breakfast: porridge with honey
snack: bio yoghurt
lunch: tuna and salad
snack: milk, almonds, apple
dinner: chicken, potatoes, parsnips
weight: 13 stone 9
booze: 0 kcal

Thursday, 8 February 2007


500m while Ben had his lesson. I'm taking a lesson at half past eight on Monday evening.

It's my way or the Subway !

Replete with an extra large Italian herb loaf with two types of salami, ham, double cheese, extra chillies and all the trimmings, sub of the day, lining my stomach I think it only appropriate to make today the first time I attempt the full virtual Triathlon !
If I succeed I will treat myself by continuing my gastronomic excesses all washed down with a bottle or two of the rather punchy Merlot which I find in my possession.
If that does not spur me to succeed ain't nothing will !
breakfast: porridge with honey
lunch: ham with tomato and celery pasta sause
coffees: 5 pre meeting stress boost
stellas: 5 post meeting stress release
dinner: chicken kebab and 3 marshmallows
weight: 13 stone 9
boose: 1,500 kcal

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Fiscal commitment

In line with Nick's trip to "Triandrun" at the weekend I made the trip to tesco's today to stock up on goodies for the challenge.

1. Bicycle puncture repair kit - £1.
2. Spiral sealed in fully water and rust resistant steel cable lock with bicycle mount and 2 double lock keys - £1.
3. Advanced adult polycarbonate lensed fully moulded, adjustable swim goggles with a fashionable, youthful design and comfort fit with perfect seal eyecups - £1.

£1,400 Carbon rims for the pushbike sir ?? I would think not !

I didn't do any training to speak of but there is always tomorrow.


6km @ 9km/h treadmill
quick stretch

Road to recovery

Still exhausted from my weekend I was cajoled into going to the gym direct from work last night.
Running 5Km hill setting level 5 at 9.0Kmh was harder than I anticipated and I tactically had to slow the treadmill at its steepest incline while I guzzled water as slowly and time consumingly as I could until the hill dissapeared.
Thereafter some pool work - once again concentrating on form as I cannot yet get anywhere near the distance required for the challenge.
One spot of bad news was that I discovered that the temperature in the national pool is dropped for competitions and events such as triathlons so it will be as cold as the sea on the day itself. Just when my body feels like it needs to soak in a warm bath it will be flung into the cold Knap of my youth!!!
breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled with a chili, mango juice
snack: bio yoghurt
lunch: baked potato, tuna, leaf salad.
dinner: pasta with celery and tomato sauce
snack: milk, almonds, grapefruit
weight: 13 st 9
booze: 0 kcal

Tuesday, 6 February 2007


24 km execrcise bike hills level 8, about an hour and a quarter and 800kcal.
superset pull ups and dips, 3x10 each, body weight minus 15kg.

I need to get some cycling shorts or it'll be "let' start building some hurtin' bums", to paraphrase Rocky Balboa.

Excess Baggage

Still recovering from the weekend excesses ! Friday, Saturday and Sunday dedicated to an orgy of libertine alcohol and food redistribution ! Yesterday I popped in to the gym but could manage no more than a brisk walk and a short rotation on the bike. One weekend seems to have destroyed all the good work I had put in !! Bugger !!

On Saturday morning I took the pushbike to the Mumbles and rode the course. It was essentially flat ( apart from one section of BMX ramps which I attempted to my folly and came a cropper !) yet I was surprised how strenuous I found it. Surprised that is until I checked the tyre pressure. It should be over 60psi, it was just under 16psi. They are pumped now, I just hope that was the explanation for the ardour of the course rather than extremely poor core stability !

Gym tonight to regain that which I have lost !
breakfast: porridge made with water
snack: bio yoghurt
lunch: sping onion 2 egg omelette and two sticks celery
snack: bio yoghurt
dinner: baked sweet potato with cheddar and salsa, pear
coffees: 1
weight: 13st 11
booze: 0 kcal

Monday, 5 February 2007


500m lunchtime followed by a few stretches.
breakfast: sweetcorn fritters
lunch: burger with tomato salad
dinner: burger then profiteroles
13stone 13
1,374kcal booze (but we did win the quiz)

Sunday, 4 February 2007

Running and Stretching

Only time for a 4km run and a few stretches between dropping off the New Ninja Bomber and pub quizzing. Not that I'm complaining.

Monday and Wednesday are looking a bit tricky for training opportunities as well unless I get it in very early in the morning.
lunch: chicken and broccoli lattice
dinner: sweetcorn fitters with chorizo, kiwiburger and sweet potato fries.
13 stone 13
say 1,300 kcal booze

Saturday, 3 February 2007

Today Part II

45 mins level 11 on the exercise bike.

Ben and I went to Triandrun earlier. If I was to start indulging my equipment fetish there I'd turn up in April looking like some hybrid of the Borg and the Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

£1,400 carbon rims for your pushbike anyone?


A quick 500m before picking up the New Ninja Bomber
breakfast: two wheatabix and semi skimmed milk
lunch: KFC two piece meal with coleslaw and diet Pepsi (blame Garfield for being shut)
dinner: chicken dhansak, sag aloo, pilau rice (blame Colliers Wood Tandoori for being open)
926kcal booze
14 stone dead

Friday, 2 February 2007


I'm back from my regular stint with Gordon, personal trainer to the stars plus li'l ol' me.

Due to some sort of diary confusion, he was still working with another client when I bowled up, so I did half an hour on the treadmill before my session with him and I'm therefore finished for the day.

One thing that he mentioned in passing is that there is a specialist triathlon shop just up the road in Wimbledon. I've had a quick look at the website ( and that definitely looks like a must visit.

Gazing more in sorrow than in anger at my belly, he also announced that he's written out a diet for me. It a complete description of three meals and two snacks a day for five days.

I can't start it this weekend as I have dinner guests on Saturday and I'm pub quizzing on Sunday evening, but it does fit nicely into next week's Monday to Friday slot as I can come off it to watch the rugby next Saturday after our trial run in Swansea.

I promise to do it exactly and publish the diet and results here.

The following "avoid at all costs" list is on the front page; alcohol, ice cream, mayonnaise, pickles, low fat spreads, salted butter, tomato ketchup, ready sauces and gravy mixes.

A teetotal work week awaits then. By my own estimate I consumed 7,492 kcal in booze over the last seven days. Not good if one pound of body weight is equivalent to 3,500.

Grinding them out

Guilt drove me to the gym this lunchtime.
9Km on some weird personal trainer setting which should have taken me 10Km but sent me to cooldown after an hour at 9Kmh ?
La Moto ( Steve ) and I have organised a bicycle jaunt along the seafront in Mumbles tomorrow morning early doors.
Later in the evening I will try out Fondue with lashings of wine and chat which should set us up royally for The Millers Tavern at midday Sunday for a pre and post match de-brief interrupted only by a wander to the Millennium for what promises to be a very fine showdown.
Guilt drove me to the gym, pride will shortly be driving me to the pub ! ( Via the cashpoint )
breakfast: tin sardines on two slices of wholemeal toast, tangerine
lunch: KFC Zinger Tower Burger: 714 kcal, 66. 7g carbs, 34.2g protein, 35.1g fat, 1.6g sodium
dinner: chicken and sweetcorn curry with rice
14stone exactly
1592 kcal booze

Thursday, 1 February 2007


Swam 500m while Ben had his lesson. Also booked Ian, his teacher, up for a half hour lesson for me, 8pm Monday week.


Cardiff to Newport this morning to see a bunch of clients. I was later than I anticipated leaving the office so I never had the time to nip to the gym en route to the Swansea office.
I have neglected eating and my plans for going for a run after work have also been scuppered so today is an unscheduled day of recuperation though I have not done any exercise since 6.30 yesterday morning !
I think a nourishing curry and a bottle or two are what the doctor will order for this evening ! That should provide me with sustenance and energy enough to get to the gym or pool before work tomorrow or at lunchtime.
Here is to getting back on track !
660kcal booze
13 stone 13
breakfast: bacon & tomato baguette from cafe
lunch: Sainsbury cheddar and apple baguette (601kcal), melon selection 52kcal
Dinner: Nihari and Naan.