Monday, 30 April 2007

Lunch Break

Trained for an hour with Gordon over lunchtime.

breakfast: bacon, egg and toast
snack: cashew nuts and pear
lunch: burger and jerk pork (BBQ)
dinner: French blue cheese and a bottle of shiraz
other booze: 2 Stellas
weight: 13 st 9

Ashtray clothes and miss lonelyheart`s pen

"It took a lost weekend in a hotel in Cardigan
And double vodka's in a single room
And the sickest joke was the price of the medicine
Are you laughing at me now may I please laugh along with you"

I can hardly believe that I am back in the office already ! What the hell happened to the weekend ?

Sunday, 29 April 2007


12 km exercise bike hills level 10

Yesterday's Fuel
lunch: chicken and coleslaw
dinner: cicken and apricot curry with peas pulao rice
booze: 1 Fosters, 5 Stellas
weight: 13 st 8

Saturday, 28 April 2007


6 km run on the treadmill, 3 x 10 incline sit ups, Muay Thai leg stretches.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: bacon, beans, eggs and toast
lunch: spicy lamb and salad hot wrap courtesy of Gianni at the Mills
dinner: sweetcorn, beans, fishfinger, bread and dripping, banana
weight: 13 st 8
booze: 7 Stellas

Friday, 27 April 2007

A dap in the Sahara !

I have a terrible thirst !

Chin Up

3x10 each bench presses, deadlifts, barbell shoulder presses, pull ups, squats, and barbell rows followed by an undignified leg stretch for which I know no name.

Smashed my chin with the bar once on a shoulder press but otherwise OK. Will tweak each weight up a little next time.

yesterday's fuel
breakfast: weetabix
lunch: none - Garfield no show
dinner: none - in casaulty with Ben
snack: apple
booze: plenty red wine
weight: 13 st 4

Requires one hell of a constitution!!

Tried a little home grown SMR last night, felt like a bit of a twit so I proceeded to the pub for solace. The oats worked just fine than you for asking.

Later tonight a little BBQ ( preferable to SMR in my opinion ) is on the cards in readiness for a slightly larger Saturday - Sunday tour with the founding fathers of the pub.

Given the assault upon all of our constitutions I think a little Benjamin Franklin may be in order. We will all have to ratify no matter what state we are in.

We the People of The Barn, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Libertines to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the annual trip to Cardigan.

Thursday, 26 April 2007


The last time I tucked into a nutritious feast of oats and honey I managed to complete a triathlon.
Oats as a source of energy to preserve well being - check !

I have just had another bowl, they work with exercise, I wonder how they will fare as alcohol fodder ?
If you are prepared to read the results I am prepared to undertake the research !
Me as a source of income to preserve local hostelries - check !

Or should I go to the gym ???


I'm going to do 500m in the pool while Ben has his swimming lesson later today so - as the chances of me failing to do that are small - without tempting fate, I thought I my as well record it now.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: yogurt
dinner: tuna, tomato and spinach sauce with pasta
booze: none
weight: 13 st 8

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Back in the Saddle

12 km exercise bike hills level 10
3x10 incline sit ups

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: blueberry muffin
lunch: sushi
dinner: chicken, chips and peas
late night snack: chicken and grapes
booze: Man U v Milan worth of Stella
weight: 13 st 9

As good as a rest

A slight change of pace last night - given that the Childline Triathlon is done.
A knock about on the Squash court followed by a relaxed swim and sauna. All extremely in the Bond !
On the downside, I nipped into the Jacuzzi for a moment and the chlorine bubbling to the surface burned my eyes till they were cherry red and streaming tears. Only one, time honoured, trench favoured remedy for that - a trip to the bar !
This morning my optical recovery is complete. I thought that may be the case given the amount of 'medicine' I had !

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Back to Basics

I wouldn't be surprised if I've lost some strength with all the aerobic training of the last quarter. Hence to the gym lunchtime for some compound exercises. 3 sets each of

bench presses
barbell shoulder press
pull ups
barbell rows

2-hydroxypropanoic acid fermentation

My thighs are still hurting from the exertions of Sunday morning !
I wonder if I under trained ?

Old's Cool

As relaxation from Mountain biking and triathlons, I attended my first Muay Thai session last night. More detail will almost certainly appear in a few days on the main blog.

Yesterday's Fuel.
breakfast: bacon, egg, mushrooms and toast
lunch: Tesco ploughman's wedge
late night snack: Cadbury's creme egg
booze: 5 Stellas
weight: 13 st 8

Monday, 23 April 2007

Organ transplants are best left to professionals

Worked over the lunch hour with Gordon as my sights are now implacably trained on The Springfield.

Childline Challenge's Fuel and Refuel
breakfast: porridge with honey
snack: banana and welsh cake
dinner: steak, garlic mushrooms and chips
weight: 13 st 10
booze: 6 Stellas

It is nice to have a bicycle that will....

....Never Let Me Down !

The next Triathlon for me will be held in the Zi Duang province of eastern country.
Jinxy come back 'cause the Strongbow's all gone !

The excess of the weekend has caught up on me, I would not have it any other way. Yesterday afternoon and evening carb loading with La Moto was very much in the bond ! A large thank you if you are reading this, and thank you all for the support, succor, Stella and Strongbow which managed to haul me through the Challenge.
I have just returned from half an hour in the Jacuzzi which has helped to ease my aching muscles.
No training as such today but I will return !

What is your prediction for the day after the Tri ?

Pain !

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Hard Like Sunday Morning

Well the challenge is complete - details will follow. Roll on Corsham and Neath.

Yesterday's Fuel
brunch: bacon sarnie and coffee
dinner: plenty barbecue courtesy of John and Jo
booze: plenty Stella
weight: 13 st 11 when I got back to London.

Hunky Dory

When I got on that bike on April 22nd I was ready. I was ready because Nick made me ready. We were eating lightning and crapping thunder !
Thank God I took the Skewen Shaulin approach to training. Holistic, holistic that is the Hemming way. Body, mind and soul all finely tuned with a common goal. Bow and Bowie is the only way to train for a Triathlon.

Poor Nick
"Ch Ch Ch Ch Chain-gives !"

Andiamo. More of the same oh so very soon !

Saturday, 21 April 2007

Easy Like Sunday Morning

16 km mountain biking at Afan Argoed.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: bacon, scrambled egg and tomato ketchup in a pitta
lunch: tuna and sweetcorn baguette
snack: pasty
dinner: chicken dhansak, sag aloo, pulau rice
booze: plenty Stella
weight: no scales on tour

Friday, 20 April 2007

Over my head

I have just remembered that Swansea is about an hour further from here than Cardiff, so bang goes the crafty lunchtime swim I was planning as I will need to get away shortly.

Thrown a day's rest by life, but that may be no bad thing in the circs.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: ham and tomato on wholegrain toast
lunch: chicken curry courtesy of Garfield
dinner: ham and tomato sandwiches, Cabury's creme egg
booze: red wine and two Stellas
weight: 13 st 8

Oy, Jinxy !

On the off chance that you are scanning this, how about a little BBQ and a temperate measure of Bow and Stella on Saturday in readiness for the Triathlon.
Any training I have done has been under semi soaked conditions and I need to limit any unnecessary shock to my system during the event itself.
"Charlie don't surf !"

(Steve does !)

Less of the same please

The distance and endurance training I have completed give me as much chance of completing the challenge as Tiny E has of climbing Everest.

Yesterday I did some outdoor cycle work. This involved hopping on my bike and cycling into Skewen, chaining her up like a two wheeled suffragette while I purchased some La-Dee-Da's and then riding back to the old homestead just in time to cadge a lift to the Barn.

The regulars do not believe that I have entered a baby triathlon and indicated that they are always amazed that I can make it to the mahogany and back without suffering a seizure ! Cheeky Buggers !

They consider the recent training they have witnessed to be more purposeful in assisting my survival on the Pub trip to Cardigan a week after the Tri itself! ( 7.30 sharp arrival at the pub, breakfast and beer in readiness for the coach departure at 8.30, jam and scones in Cardigan followed by an early night.)

Anyhoo, I was tucked up in bed by 2.15 this morning and Nick arrives in the wild west at 6ish - just in time to get to the pub and lubricate properly before a nourishing Ruby. If I leave my training till Saturday will it be a bit rushed ??

"Man ! I couldn't eat that much salt in my whole life !"
"Yep, You're the little King Tiny E !"

Thursday, 19 April 2007

Stretching it out

Just an hour of stretching this morning.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: weetabix
lunch: chilli with baked potato and salad
dinner: jerk pork
snack: yogurt
weight: 13 st 11
booze: red wine, 3 Stellas

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Dead Again

In honour of the winding down approach which Nick has adopted I have, as anticipated last Wednesday, been on stop.
No, worse than that I have been backtracking at a rate of knots.
Wednesday afternoon and evening in and outside the pub. Two excuses, as if even one was required ! Sun and horse jumping.
Thursday off to see Steve No-Bike, with associated Stella haze, followed by a Chinese and a few more ales.
Friday was Cocktails a go-go. Experimentation with the B-52!
Saturday took us to the pub to watch the National and celebrate Mia's winnings in time-honoured 'well you can buy your Dear old Dad a pint' fashion. Followed by an impromptu BBQ to excess.
Sunday took us to Mark The Butcher for horse riding, trampolining, BBQ'ing and boozing.
Monday and Tuesday was more of the same.
In my defence I did go to the pool yesterday evening though I did nothing in the way of swimming - very similar to when I am actually training !

So, you will see, when it comes to the resting and cutting down on excessive excercise before the actual Triathlon I may as well be world champ !

Tapering off

Swam 400m this morning. Meant to go 500 but the clasp on the my neck chain broke and I had to retrieve both it and the cross that hangs from it from the icy depths.

Yesterday's Fuel:
breakfast: yoghurt
lunch: mixed shawarma
dinner: tuna and spinach pasta
booze: none
weight: 13 st 12

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Winding Down

Had a winding down session with Gordon this morning. Just 10 mins light running then stretching. My adductor magnus is particularly stiff on my right had side and on the left the piriformis and rectus femoris are the naughty ones.

A weekend in Cardiff has put me back over fourteen stone.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: grazed on savoury eggs and little sausages uneaten by the kids the day before
lunch: steak, baked spud and leaks
dinner: mutton biraini
booze: 4 Stellas
weight: 14 st 1

Monday, 16 April 2007

End of the road

Went for the last gentle run and ride out of doors that I will undertake before the event itself, taking it all very easy.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: bacon sarnies
lunch: sausage and mash then trifle
dinner: cheese roll
booze: red wine and six Stellas
weight: until you're told

Sunday, 15 April 2007

Wasted and Wounded

My legs ache all the time now. Ran and rode this morning and plan to do the same tomorrow but will start to ease up after that.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: bacon rolls
lunch and dinner: BBQ, 2 burgers and a hot dog, plus crisps and dips
snack: scotch egg
booze: 4 Stellas
weight: who knows?

Saturday, 14 April 2007

Around and Around

I picked up a USB/mini-B cable so I can post to motion based while I'm on tour, so here is yesterday's run and this morning's ride. (I touched on last night's footie but not the Stella that followed it here.)

Yesterday's fuel
breakfast: bacon sarnies
tea: stir fried chicken and vegetables
post beer snack: two pork pies
booze: 8 Stellas
weight: no scales on tour

Friday, 13 April 2007

Over The Hill

I'm back in Cardiff for a long weekend. Kicked the day off with my old three mile run route from the family home and recorded it with the Garmin, but I appear to have left the USB cable behind so it is not uploaded. I'm due to play 5-a-side football this evening so that will suffice for the day's exercise.

Yesterday's Fuel,
breakfast: tuna and bean salad
lunch: pork chop and salad
snack: mouthfulls of Ben's tuna and spinach pasta
dinner: spaghetti bolognaise
booze: 1 Stella
weight: no accurate scale available.

Thursday, 12 April 2007

Last Push

12 km hills level 10 on exercise bike
3 sets of pull ups

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: rice pudding
snack: yogurt
lunch: tuna and bean salad
snack pear
dinner: kebab
weight 13 st 12
booze: 8 Stellas


Gordon had to cry off at lunch time to take his boy to the doctor so I did 12 km hills level 10 on the exercise bike in the gym followed by 3 sets of 10 bench presses with 20 kg plates on each end of the bar.

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Too Orangy for Bows

Just for me and my dawg !
What a lovely day ! What beautiful sunny weather ! What time is it ? Time to go !
It all bodes badly for the training regime but I will hopefully develop a resistance to the blistering sunshine if I spend enough time sitting out over the next few days. As long as I take on board the appropriate amount of fluid I should stay healthy !
Apple Champagne, here we come !

I'm still rolling along

Did 500m in the pool this morning as it is closed tomorrow, and am doing an hour with Gordon at lunchtime.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: merguez sausage with salad and wholemeal pitta
snack: yogurt
lunch: merguez with apricot, lemon and coriander couscous
snack: pear
dinner: spaghetti with meatballs
snack: pear
booze: 6 stellas and half a bottle of wine
weight: 13 st 11

Norwegian Blue

I have a cold once again !
What very poor timing !

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Exercise Bike

12 km hills level 10
3 sets of 10 incline sit ups

Cramming !

It has stood me in good stead for the exams of my youth. I wonder if I can achieve a brief burst of fitness to get me through the Tri ?
Will I have to stay up all night on Saturday 21st training like a lunatic with my eyeballs popping through Pro-Plus excesses in order to get me through the Challenge of the 22nd ? Is that how it works ?
I was never one to spend the Easter holidays diligently completing my coursework project, rather I was the one scribbling through a blind panic on the Sunday before my return to school juggling between Bullseye, last of the summer wine, songs of praise and my homework !
Only time will tell !!!

Back to work

Went for a run this morning, but figures are bit squiffy as I restarted the timer by accident later.
Yesterday's Fuel
snack: banana
breakfast: merguez sausages, pitta, salad and tahini
lunch: liver, chips and salad
dinner: pork stir fried with chinese veg then yogurt
booze: none
weight: 13 at 8

Monday, 9 April 2007


Went for a bike ride lunchtime and swam 500m early in the evening.

Same Old

Went for a reluctant jog and did exactly the same route in exactly the same time as Friday.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: toasted bacon and tomato sandwiches
dinner: prawn sandwiches, Roquefort cheese
booze: 3 Stellas, 1 bottle of wine
weight: 13 st 9

Sunday, 8 April 2007

No wheels on my wagon

12 km hills on exercise bike level 10.
3.5 km treadmill 9.5 km/h
hamstring stretching
3 x10 bench presses with a 20kg plate on each end. I wonder how much the barbell weighs?

Yesterday's Fuel
snack: banana
Breakfast: ham and tomato toasted sandwich
lunch: chicken, broccoli and brown rice
dinner: liver and onions with mashed potato and carrots.
booze: 5 Stellas and 2 bottles of wine
weight: 13 st 9.

Saturday, 7 April 2007

Pigeons Roost

My legs were telling me this morning that deadlifts on top of running, cycling, and soreness yesterdy was too much and a rest was due.

I SMR's them in the gym then did some bench pressing and upright rowing before swimming 500m and taking a shower.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: tomatoes and cottage cheese on wholegrain toast with hot sauce
snack yogurt
lunch: chilli
snack banana
dinner: beef and onion pie and chips
beer fueled snack: half a roast chicken, grapes and an apple
booze: plenty Stella at Replay
weight: 13 st 12

Friday, 6 April 2007

Popiteal Fossa

Did mostly floor exercises with Gordon today with a lot of concentration on abs. Rather worryingly the back of my knees gave me sharp pains when I tried quick leg bend exercises like burpees. Perhaps they need a rest?

Also did 12 km hills on the exercise bike and some resistance training (deadlifts, squats, and pull ups) later.

Good Friday

Started the day with a run, and I'm due an hour with Gordon at noon.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: bacon, tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches
lunch: tuna and broccoli pasta, then banana
dinner: chicken biriani
snack: grapes
booze: none
weight: 13 st 10

Thursday, 5 April 2007

They also serve ...

Swam 500m while Ben had his swimming lesson, then ran 3 miles while he had his Muay Thai lesson.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: 2 sausage, 2 eggs and chips
dinner: chilli and brown rice
snack: apple
booze: none
weight: 13 st 12

Einmal Ist Keinmal

So I missed another days training ! Ultimately I trust that this will prove insignificant. The reality is that i think I will survive the run and the cycle, it is the drowning over 500m which poses the wall and even if I had trained last night it is unlikely that I would have gone swimming. Nothing ventured, nothing gained may just as well be Nothing attempted, nothing lost !
Muss es sein? Es muss sein!
And so we go onwards and upwards to the day of the challenge !
Oh, and a Happy Easter to you.

Wednesday, 4 April 2007

Are We Entertained?

12 km hills level 10 exercise bike.

Three pounds heavier this morning than yesterday. Time to get back on the wagon.

Yesterday's Fuel
breakfast: marmite on toast
snack: yogurt
lunch: beef, kidney bean, green pepper, and sweetcorn chilli followed by red grapes
dinner: chorizo and sweet potato coquettes, Pollo Criollo
booze: many mojitos, much Stella
weight: 13 st 10

Rodgering the Bannister !

I attended the gymnasium last night hell bent on a warm up jog followed by a more dedicated and determined splash. I had made a deal with myself that if I could complete a 500m swim in 25 minutes or less I would allowed to stay up for an extra half an hour and my request to watch a film in bed, if I promised to be quiet, would be considered.
I ascended the treadmill and started to run in a fashion reminiscent of Forest Gump, with calipers fractured and left behind in my wake. I ended up running 5km in under 24 minutes. Pleased and somewhat smug I headed to the changing rooms confident that my late night double feature request would be granted. I was ready to Spitz that pool!
Forgot my bathers so that, I am afraid, was the end of that!
Returning home I treated myself to some strongbow and, given that it was the rebirth of my training, a celebratory cigar or three.
Later, while emptying the washing machine, I realised that two pair beats a prial when it comes to socks.

Tuesday, 3 April 2007


9km exercise bike hills level 10
3 sets of ten incline sit ups, pull ups, dips

New Dawn

Another dawn jog.

Yesterday's Fool
breakfast: none
lunch: Roasted vegetable and soft cheese wrap
dinner: none
booze: 1 pt Guiness, 3 pints Stella, 3 cans Stella
weight: 13 st 7

Steady as she goes !

The powers that be have started playing an background album of "Rocky" music. According to my calculations that effectively doubles the effect of any actual exercise I do at the gym and extends the training session to include changing and having a cheeky apres exercise pint in the 'comedown' aspect of the session.
I actually did attend the gym yesterday evening ! Started with a jog which turned into a run and then evolved into a sprint. This was followed by some mogulling on the cycle and then a 15 minute toy with the resistance machines.
I think I have pulled a bloody muscle in my dominant arm - God only knows how, the resistance was very low ? Must have been that pint, thicker glass than I am used to?

Monday, 2 April 2007


500m in the pool.

Also put the bike into Moose Cycles for a service.


12 km hills level 10 on the exercise bike, then a couple of minutes stretching.

As change is as good as..

The Baby Triathlon book emphasises how important rest is when approaching Triathlon training in any serious way. I am glad to say that following this last weekend I am supremely confident that I have done all that will be required in this regard.
Is it possible, I wonder, to Retox without having first had a Detox ?
The smoking ban is now in force just in time to hone my lung capacity and anaerobic fitness level without ever leaving the bar. I am relying upon that giving me all the edge I require.
Training recommences today !


Jogged first thing this morning. Hated every minute and metre of it. Average heart rate three percent lower than Satruday morning though I did the same route at the same speed. What geeky joys measurement brings.

breakfast: sardines on toast, banana
snack: yogurt
lunch: burger king Aberdeen Angus burger
dinner: tuna pasta
snack: pork scratchings, chicen leg
booze: 3 pints, 4 cans Stella
weight: 13 st 8 (after jog)

Sunday, 1 April 2007


Thrown a day off training by life.

Yesterday's Fuel
snack: good bar
breakfast:bacon and mushrooms on toast
snack: two donuts
lunch: pasta with spinach and cottage cheese
snack: banana, apple, donut
dinner: Chicken and chips
weight: 13 st 9
booze: none